Consideration Is One of Our Goals at 4B America

Consideration Is One of Our Goals at 4B America

At 4B America, we’ve spent a lot of time discussing how men are the depraved gender and how essential it is for women to work together. By now, many of us recognize this truth and understand that solidarity among women is vital. However, as much as the ideal of women supporting one another is there, we know that infighting can sometimes occur. This isn’t entirely women’s fault—it’s a product of the patriarchy and the way it divides us. But we need to be aware of it so we can better help one another and ultimately unite.

We cannot dictate how women should manage their social media or claim there is one correct way to do things. However, at 4B America, we want to encourage consideration as one of our core goals. Consideration for each other is essential for creating stronger, more cohesive communities, and it’s something we aim to promote with every action.

One principle we hold dear is that we never want to attack women who are learning and trying to find their way. Whether a woman is struggling with understanding that being single is okay or if she’s involved in promoting sex work, we are not here to tear her down. If we can’t reach certain women, we’ll simply step back and not engage any further. But if we choose to engage, we do so with the goal of explaining our viewpoint kindly and with respect, hoping they are willing to learn.

Too often, we see women being attacked for not being perfect within radical feminist circles. We’ve witnessed arguments over topics as trivial as shaving or not shaving. These are valid discussions, but is it worth losing friends over? Especially when we consider the larger challenges women face today? Most women are still dating men, wearing makeup, shaving, and so on. If a woman is a radical feminist but chooses to shave, it’s not the end of the world. While it’s important to educate women about these issues—especially when we aim to end harmful beauty standards—it’s crucial that we do so in a helpful, not attacking, way.

One thing you won’t see us do at 4B America is call out individual women publicly on our social media or in our posts. We believe that any issues should be addressed privately, and if someone is truly problematic, we’ll simply block them. Focusing on the bigger picture of the movement rather than on individual problems is how we believe things should be handled. When we work together for a common goal, the movement becomes stronger and more effective.

So how do we approach disagreements? We try to come from a place of understanding, taking the time to see where the other person’s viewpoint is coming from. We engage with our thoughts and respond civilly, avoiding insults or personal attacks. Our founder has taught us that no matter how stubborn or vile we may think someone is, we must engage with them respectfully and always be mindful of our tone. She has come out and reprimanded us for our negative thoughts firsthand when she finds us judging other woman unnecessarily. We have since realized that by engaging with kindness and understanding, we can make progress, even when there are disagreements.

Ultimately, we want to help women see the bigger picture. We understand that not everyone will run their pages or activism in the same way, and that’s okay. Our role is to offer advice, understanding, and support, because consideration is what allows communities to come together and grow. Women have had perfection pushed upon them from all sides, and sometimes we unintentionally push it onto one another, holding each other to higher standards than we hold men. It’s time to let go of that unrealistic expectation, and instead, encourage understanding and solidarity among ourselves. Through this, we can create a more supportive and unified movement for all women. ♀