Some People Are Beyond Helping: Focusing Our Energy Where It Matters

Some People Are Beyond Helping: Focusing Our Energy Where It Matters

There are people we may never be able to help or change, no matter how much effort we put into it. For example, we can’t make deeply misogynistic men less hateful towards women. Maybe after some decades of extreme effort, we might make men slightly less misogynistic. Instead of futile attempts at changing parts of society that don’t want to change, that energy is better spent on building up female separatism and empowering women directly.

Even when it comes to helping other women, there are limits. Some women have chosen paths that they may never leave behind. Women who built their lives around husbands or boyfriends may be reluctant to leave their lifestyles, even if they are actively being harmed. Additionally, those who see sex work as empowerment may not want to exit the abusive industry, even when presented with the facts about trafficking and exploitation. This doesn’t mean we should completely stop reaching out to people in those situations. However, with limited time and resources, we must prioritize making an impact where it can be most effective—reaching people who are already questioning their current lives and wondering if there’s something more.

There are plenty of women who thought they found success by settling down in traditional roles, only to realize that something feels off. These are the people who might be open to new ways of thinking, to a movement that challenges conventional lifestyles and offers a different path. It’s these individuals—those who feel that something is missing or who are on the fence—that are most likely to benefit from new perspectives like female separatism.

Giving up on certain people doesn’t mean we are giving up on change. Instead, it means pursuing a more efficient approach to creating real change by reaching the right audience. Spending hours debating with those deeply rooted in traditional or conservative views is rarely productive. Many women entrenched in religious or patriarchal lifestyles won’t be swayed by arguments; they may need life events or personal realizations to start questioning their beliefs. Creating those types of personal realizations for others is out of our control. What we can do is provide information, create impactful videos, and share stories that might resonate with women who are already open to exploring new ideas.

In truth, some people will remain stuck in their beliefs until the end. There may be older generations of boomer women who hold onto hateful, far-right, patriarchal views, and no amount of discussion with them will change that. But with younger generations of women and those who are open to new perspectives, there is real potential for transformation.

At 4B America, we constantly theorize on which groups we can reach. Some of our outreach ideas start off to be too ambitious, and sometimes we need to narrow our focus to make a meaningful impact. We constantly refine our strategies to reach those who are open-minded and willing to listen, especially young women interested in exploring new ways of living. As individuals, it’s important to take a similar approach. Many women spend years trying to argue with family members or friends with completely different views, often with little to no change as a result. Instead, we should put our efforts where they’re most likely to be received.

There are people out there that will remain the exact same after years, regardless of how much information they receive. But for others, a single conversation, post, or video might be the spark that sets them on a new path. At 4B America, we’re committed to focusing our energy on those ready for change and building a movement that reaches people who are open to it. Change is possible, but it starts with being strategic about where we direct our voices and our energy. ♀